The first debate of the nightmare (did I say nightmare? I meant November) 2020 election offers a useful metaphor. While I was watching the moderator pleading over and over again with Dude 1 – I mean Voldemort – I mean 45 – to just give Dude 2 his two minutes of air time, to even […]
Read more "First, Cut the mic"Have you ever had that dream where something bad is happening to you, but when you try to ask for help, you can’t speak? You try to scream for help but you just can’t get the words out? This doesn’t only happen in dreams. It happens in real life as well. Survivors of gendered violence experience this […]
Read more "Psychological Harm is Physical Harm 2: Why Survivors Lose Their Voice"There are two kinds of boundary violations: overt and covert. We know a lot about one half of boundary violations: the kind acted out in an anxious way. This first kind of boundary violation is hopefully already obvious. This is when you say no, or are unable to consent, and someone goes ahead and touches […]
Read more "There is another kind of boundary violation: the covert cross"2025 update: I have learned more since, and I think this piece got the concept wrong. ___________________ I keep having the same conversation over and over. That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening? When people we love and trust […]
Read more "On Gaslighting"