Cultivating Compassion for Gaslighting Survivors

The presidential debates have provided survivors everywhere with a gift. We have been speaking and speaking and speaking about the harm caused by this kind of gaslighting for years. Yet unless you have witnessed this yourself, it can be almost impossible to believe that it exists. The logical switchbacks, emotional manipulation, moves to control the terms of discussion, utter […]

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The Tricks of Shame and Hope

My regular readers will know that I give my posts to a panel of mostly-male early readers before they go public. One of these early readers read For Men Who Desperately Need Autonomy and asked me to add a section flippantly called How You Can Put This Into Practice Right Now If You Are Flipping Out Because […]

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On Gaslighting

I keep having the same conversation over and over. That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening? When people we love and trust do that to us? It really messes with our minds. Over time, or when it is about important […]

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