Why Survivors Don’t Speak

Why don’t survivors speak? It’s not just for the reasons you think. Let’s take a journey inside the brain and nervous system of a woman or trans person experiencing serious gendered violence. First, let’s visit Broca’s Area Broca’s Area is a furl of neural matter in the left half of your brain, curled behind your left temple, […]

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Cultivating Compassion for Gaslighting Survivors

The presidential debates have provided survivors everywhere with a gift. We have been speaking and speaking and speaking about the harm caused by this kind of gaslighting for years. Yet unless you have witnessed this yourself, it can be almost impossible to believe that it exists. The logical switchbacks, emotional manipulation, moves to control the terms of discussion, utter […]

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The Tricks of Shame and Hope

My regular readers will know that I give my posts to a panel of mostly-male early readers before they go public. One of these early readers read For Men Who Desperately Need Autonomy and asked me to add a section flippantly called How You Can Put This Into Practice Right Now If You Are Flipping Out Because […]

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