The attachment literature teaches us that autonomy is a paradox. Jordan and I are in the car about to drop him off at a weeklong arts program working with teens on a small gulf island off the British Columbia coast. In front of us through the windshield is a farmstand: berries, eggs, a hand painted […]Read more "For Men Who Desperately Need Autonomy"
I keep having the same conversation over and over. That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening? When people we love and trust do that to us? It really messes with our minds. Over time, or when it is about important […]Read more "On Gaslighting"
Attunement is not a ‘task’ that can be carried out. You can provide physical care in a connected or a disconnected way. The cues that tell the limbic brain ‘I’m with you; we are connected,’ are tremendously subtle. Connection isn’t forced through willpower or memorization; rather, it occurs when you allow your true self to […]Read more "Nurturance is about more than ‘tasks’"
Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice This is a workshop created to help increase the general level of public knowledge about the spectrum of dissociative experiences and their connection to systemic oppression. Dissociative experiences are very common. Increasing awareness about how they feel and look, their causes, and how people can help or […]Read more "Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice"
This page is a list of resources to help those around survivors of gendered / raced harm begin or continue learning about good ways to respond. As anyone who has begun the process of supporting survivors will no doubt have perceived, distinct bystander patterns emerge. These same patterns are described in all of these resources, dating […]Read more "Resources for Dealing with Conflict and Harm"
Because the beautiful responses keep coming in, and because we need some good words today: six more replies to ‘Nurturance Culture’: 1. Nurturance is the feel of your bristly beard on my forehead as I melt into your arms after you pick me up from a three day therapeutic retreat. It’s in your suggestion to fold the […]Read more "We need some good news today: six more ‘Nurturance Culture’ entries"
Gwen works at the Institute, the source of all knowledge production in the world. The Institute’s rectilinear stone columns and thin white cutstone steps fill her imagination, and her work fills her days. Slowly her orderly, linear world begins to crack at the edges. In the oldest part of the Institute, a woman in white stands in […]Read more "Cipher"