O Oposto da Cultura de Estupro é a Cultura de Acolhimento

O oposto da cultura masculina de estupro é a cultura masculina de acolhimento: homens* aumentando sua capacidade de acolher, tornando-se plenos. O julgamento Ghomeshi volta aos noticiários, trazendo o tópico da agressão sexual violenta de volta às mentes das pessoas e às conversas cotidianas. Certamente a violência é errada, mesmo quando o sistema jurídico que […]

Consejos para el hombre feminista

Consejos para el hombre feminista. Este artículo está escrito en honor a los hombres feministas y los rituales que hacen al salir con alguien. Eres un hombre cis, heterosexual, monógamo, y de izquierdas. Quizás seas un Marxista o socialista; o quizás seas un anarquista. Respetas a las mujeres. Nunca te comportarías como un Don Juan. […]

The challenges of ‘Ground Rules’

We need to get comfortable with simultaneous speech. I want to begin this post with two excerpts that can give a bit of context for this discussion. The first comes out of work on mindfulness practices used in some kinds of organizing cultures and will mostly be relevant for those contexts, and the second comes […]

le Gaslighting

(English version here) Je n’arrête pas de discuter de ça, encore et encore. Ce truc, quand quelqu’un ruine ta perception de la réalité, et te dit que t’es timbrée, ou nie qu’un truc est en train de se produire au moment où c’est en train de se produire, tu vois ? Quand les personnes que nous […]

Ten Reader Replies: “Nurturance Is…”

1. Nurturance is when you get hit by an overwhelming bout of depression that leaves you crumpled up on the hard, cold floor of the shower, unable to move, and your partner finds you there and sits on the floor across from you, telling you he is there to lift you up and hold you […]

Lo opuesto a una Cultura de la Violación es una Cultura Afectiva

Lo opuesto a una cultura masculina de la violación es una cultura masculina afectiva: hombres* aumentando su capacidad de dar cuidados, y alcanzando su plenitud. El caso Ghomeshi vuelve a estar en las noticias, y con ello la idea de acosos sexuales violentos vuelven a aparecer en las mentes y conversaciones diarias de las personas. […]

Boys, Brothers, and Saying “I Love You”: 18 Readers’ thoughts about #NurturanceCulture

Readers sent in your experiences and wisdom about #NurturanceCulture. Here are some of my favourites: 1. Nurturance is like a pot of soup that grows for both/all the more you put in. -anon 2. Nurturance is my 16-year-old brother, waking up his little sister (me) with breakfast on a tray the morning we have to leave […]

Why the World Said ‘Yes!’ to #NurturanceCulture: Five Responses

Why the World Said Yes to Nurturance Culture: Five Responses Last week, “The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture” blew up on the internet. The global response is astonishing: 360 000 people visited the page in a week. Clearly the idea that we can craft a masculine “Nurturance Culture” touched a chord. Comments and mail poured in from well nigh every single […]

Call for Submissions: “Nurturance Is…”

YES! We are still taking submissions for new posts! Dating Tips for the Feminist Man is accepting submissions for a series on your own personal experiences of masculine* nurturance culture. Send us your ways to finish this sentence: “Nurturance Is…” What does masculine nurturance culture look like, feel like, taste like? What is the timing, the rhythm, […]

There is another kind of boundary violation: the covert cross

There are two kinds of boundary violations: overt and covert. We know a lot about one half of boundary violations: the kind acted out in an anxious way. This first kind of boundary violation is hopefully already obvious. This is when you say no, or are unable to consent, and someone goes ahead and touches […]