YES! We are still taking submissions for new posts! Dating Tips for the Feminist Man is accepting submissions for a series on your own personal experiences of masculine* nurturance culture. Send us your ways to finish this sentence: “Nurturance Is…” What does masculine nurturance culture look like, feel like, taste like? What is the timing, the rhythm, […]
Read more "Call for Submissions: “Nurturance Is…”"There are two kinds of boundary violations: overt and covert. We know a lot about one half of boundary violations: the kind acted out in an anxious way. This first kind of boundary violation is hopefully already obvious. This is when you say no, or are unable to consent, and someone goes ahead and touches […]
Read more "There is another kind of boundary violation: the covert cross"The opposite of masculine rape culture is masculine nurturance culture: men* increasing their capacity to nurture, and becoming whole. The Ghomeshi trial is back in the news, and it brings violent sexual assault back into people’s minds and daily conversations. Of course violence is wrong, even when the court system for handling it is a disaster. That part seems […]
Read more "The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture"This post is the most troubling I’ve ever written. I don’t have the answers, and I hope we can think this through together. But this needs saying. What hit me in the Isla Vista shooter’s murderous tirade on virginity was not the entitlement, the misogyny, or the cold calculation. What hit me, what has stayed […]
Read more "We Need Allies, Not Gentlemen"This post is in honour of male feminists and their dating rituals. You’re a straight cismale who identifies as a leftie. Maybe you’re a Marxist or a socialist; maybe you’re an anarchist. You respect women. You would never act like a player. You fall in love with strong, smart, feminist women. You believe that our […]
Read more "Dating Tips for the Feminist Man"There is a variation on ‘Not All Men.’ It is called ‘I Feel Bad When You Say That.’ My godson Kyle is six. He is fairly emotionally perceptive for his age, as his grownups have been working with him to create an emotionally responsible and self-aware boy who we hope will grow into an emotionally […]
Read more "Own, Apologize, Repair: Coming Back to Integrity"2025 update: I have learned more since, and I think this piece got the concept wrong. ___________________ I keep having the same conversation over and over. That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening? When people we love and trust […]
Read more "On Gaslighting"