First, Cut the mic

The first debate of the nightmare (did I say nightmare? I meant November) 2020 election offers a useful metaphor. While I was watching the moderator last night pleading over and over again with 45 to just give the other dude his two minutes, to even try to take turns, I found myself thinking – were […]

Book release date!

Happy to say that this little book Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture is scheduled for release on June 18, 2019. You can already pre-order! Early Bird Pre-order 25% off direct from AK Press I’m excited to share these essays and dialogues with wonderful contributors. Book includes dialogue pieces on themes: ‘Jon […]

Two Models of Nurturance (Which One Are You?)

Of soup-friends and token-exchangers. I’ve noticed a pattern. (surprise!) It seems to me that two very different models exist of what people in our culture think we are doing when we nurture one another. This makes sense given that any modern culture is a complex swirl of ancestral inheritances only recently jumbled together and barely […]

Connection In Practice: The Tricks of Shame and Hope

My regular readers will know that I give my posts to a panel of mostly-male early readers before they go public. One of these early readers read For Men Who Desperately Need Autonomy and asked me to add a section flippantly called How You Can Put This Into Practice Right Now If You Are Flipping Out Because […]

Nurturance is about more than ‘tasks’

Attunement is not a ‘task’ that can be carried out. You can provide physical care in a connected or a disconnected way. The cues that tell the limbic brain ‘I’m with you; we are connected,’ are tremendously subtle. Connection isn’t forced through willpower or memorization; rather, it occurs when you allow your true self to […]

Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice

Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice This is a workshop created to help increase the general level of public knowledge about the spectrum of dissociative experiences and their connection to systemic oppression. Dissociative experiences are very common. Increasing awareness about how they feel and look, their causes, and how people can help or […]

We need some good news today: six more ‘Nurturance Culture’ entries

Because the beautiful responses keep coming in, and because we need some good words today: six more replies to ‘Nurturance Culture’: 1. Nurturance is the feel of your bristly beard on my forehead as I melt into your arms after you pick me up from a three day therapeutic retreat. It’s in your suggestion to fold the […]

Ten Reader Replies: “Nurturance Is…”

1. Nurturance is when you get hit by an overwhelming bout of depression that leaves you crumpled up on the hard, cold floor of the shower, unable to move, and your partner finds you there and sits on the floor across from you, telling you he is there to lift you up and hold you […]

Boys, Brothers, and Saying “I Love You”: 18 Readers’ thoughts about #NurturanceCulture

Readers sent in your experiences and wisdom about #NurturanceCulture. Here are some of my favourites: 1. Nurturance is like a pot of soup that grows for both/all the more you put in. -anon 2. Nurturance is my 16-year-old brother, waking up his little sister (me) with breakfast on a tray the morning we have to leave […]

Why the World Said ‘Yes!’ to #NurturanceCulture: Five Responses

Why the World Said Yes to Nurturance Culture: Five Responses Last week, “The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture” blew up on the internet. The global response is astonishing: 360 000 people visited the page in a week. Clearly the idea that we can craft a masculine “Nurturance Culture” touched a chord. Comments and mail poured in from well nigh every single […]