Have you ever had that dream where something bad is happening to you, but when you try to ask for help, you can’t speak? You try to scream for help but you just can’t get the words out? This doesn’t only happen in dreams. It happens in real life as well. Survivors of gendered violence experience this […]Read more "Psychological Harm is Physical Harm 2: Why Survivors Lose Their Voice"
I keep having the same conversation over and over. That thing where someone undermines your perception of reality, and says you’re crazy, or denies that something is happening that is in fact happening? When people we love and trust do that to us? It really messes with our minds. Over time, or when it is about important […]Read more "On Gaslighting"
Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice This is a workshop created over three years from information gathered as I was learning about my own experiences and integrating. A sandbox version of this workshop was offered in Vancouver in the Spring of 2015 with organizers and friends I have known for years, which generated ideas that […]Read more "Out of the Attic: dissociation and social justice"
Feminist men* of the internets: I hear you asking how you can help, how you can support survivors. This post was first composed after a certain famous abuser CBC host’s trial concluded; yet it feels relevant once again in this moment before the inauguration, as movements are gearing up to protect those directly affected. We […]Read more "So if men ask before sex, will we have solved patriarchy?"
This post is the most troubling I’ve ever written. I don’t have the answers, and I hope we can think this through together. But this needs saying. What hit me in the Isla Vista shooter’s murderous tirade on virginity was not the entitlement, the misogyny, or the cold calculation. What hit me, what has stayed […]Read more "We Need Allies, Not Gentlemen"
This post is in honour of male feminists and their dating rituals. You’re a straight monogamous cismale who identifies as a leftie. Maybe you’re a Marxist or a socialist; maybe you’re an anarchist. You respect women. You would never act like a player. You fall in love with strong, smart, feminist women. You believe that […]Read more "Dating Tips for the Feminist Man"