Feminist men* of the internets: I hear you asking how you can help, how you can support survivors. This post was first composed after a certain famous abuser CBC host’s trial concluded; yet it feels relevant once again in this moment before the inauguration, as movements are gearing up to protect those directly affected. We […]Read more "So if men ask before sex, will we have solved patriarchy?"
Why the World Said Yes to Nurturance Culture: Five Responses Last week, “The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture” blew up on the internet. The global response is astonishing: 360 000 people visited the page in a week. Clearly the idea that we can craft a masculine “Nurturance Culture” touched a chord. Comments and mail poured in from well nigh every single […]Read more "Why the World Said ‘Yes!’ to #NurturanceCulture: Five Responses"
There are two kinds of boundary violations: overt and covert. We know a lot about one half of boundary violations: the kind acted out in an anxious way. This first kind of boundary violation is hopefully already obvious. This is when you say no, or are unable to consent, and someone goes ahead and touches […]Read more "There is another kind of boundary violation: the covert cross"
The opposite of masculine rape culture is masculine nurturance culture: men* increasing their capacity to nurture, and becoming whole. The Ghomeshi trial is back in the news, and it brings violent sexual assault back into people’s minds and daily conversations. Of course violence is wrong, even when the court system for handling it is a disaster. That part seems […]Read more "The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture"
This post is the most troubling I’ve ever written. I don’t have the answers, and I hope we can think this through together. But this needs saying. What hit me in the Isla Vista shooter’s murderous tirade on virginity was not the entitlement, the misogyny, or the cold calculation. What hit me, what has stayed […]Read more "We Need Allies, Not Gentlemen"
This post is in honour of male feminists and their dating rituals. You’re a straight cismale who identifies as a leftie. Maybe you’re a Marxist or a socialist; maybe you’re an anarchist. You respect women. You would never act like a player. You fall in love with strong, smart, feminist women. You believe that our […]Read more "Dating Tips for the Feminist Man"